How to find a job -

This is my new approach to finding a job:

DEAR SIR OR MADAM:

LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!

This is how I feel I should start all my cover letters when applying for a job!

LOOK AT ME!!!! I really want this job. I would not be wasting your time with my whack costume designer/ costume shop management resume/retail experience if I really did not want to work for your organization. I have no interest in killing myself time and time again, getting my hopes up even, about a position I didn’t think I was qualified for and capable of doing.

LOOK AT ME! Why would I spend all this time and energy researching your organization and what you are about if I really did not want to be there? Do you actually read these cover letters? Do you see that I am trying to tell you about how I want a career in International something or other so I can go into the Foreign Service? Did you not notice the whole “has experience working overseas” bit or the “years of management and über-multi-tasking” bit or that this applicant and speaks another language and would happily take on 5 more if it meant I had the job?

LOOK AT ME! And what about the fact that you have posted this job *3 times* in the last 9 months? If you did not like my resume the first or second time, why did you tell me to apply again? Why don’t you send an email, postcard or voicemail and tell me you are not interested? Why, when I call to confirm that you have received my information, you tell me to call back as you are just too busy to check? And when I call back at the time and date you proposed, you get snippy with me? (See, you *do* need and assistant – you are overworked and need someone to help you get it done.)

Now here, let me hem those pants for you as they are a bit too long.

Call me!

Thank you for your time,

Marietta AFGH


PS Check out my cute new hair!